recently ive been messing around with getting closer to my programmer side by dipping my toes again in game programming frameworks. im still messing around with raylib\monogame and its quite comfy. i think im trying to slow down a bit.

earlier this year, a stray cat birthed four kittens in my lawns flowerpot and its until now that all of them are now gone, reminding me of the fragility of life and how a lot of life is ‘game flags’ that you either take or dont.

guess im still processing taking my first paraplegic nursed animal to a shelter here, dont mind me.

Anybut i’ve also started painting a lot more again

Thanks to a family member commissioning a painting of a recently diseased family member that took their own life. A young woman who was studying to be a nurse.

Another commission after that is a friend’s wedding painting. With the kind of laws and cultural-patterns are going, they weren’t sure if they would be able to get married in Texas. Which might sound dramatic to some, but to others that study history it could just be another bit of foreshadowing.

Now here we are at another week of thanksgiving

While i feel like time is passing much too fast for my liking, there’s also a sense that its going at a comfortable speed for me. Probably because i haven’t been w-2 working for half a year.

Which is now about the time for me (and my savings) to go back to at least part-time working. it was a nice break and while it was just about 6 months, i imagine this is what taking one or two steps to the path of nirvana feels like.

dystopian life goes on…

whether it’s a capitalism thing, millennial thing, Neo-feudalism thing or whatever, i feel like i can take what life dishes at me and i’ll probably still feel sad or mad, but now (and it sounds a bit masochistic), i kinda relish the emotions? and obviously move on cause that’s life.

man… it just sounds like im desperate to feel anything.

anybut thats my life update for now, until next time!